Tears of the Forgotten
by Ohyesidid
Summary: Winona Kirk thinks about her sons and what she did wrong. Can she find the power to forgive herself?


Star Trek 2009 Tears Of The Forgotten

I have had this story in my head for days thought I would get it out. This is my first Star Trek fanfiction I am a huge fan of the movie. Here we go folks. Oh and I don't own Star Trek or its characters this is merely a figment of my imagination. Oh and I am just guessing on their ages I'm not exactly sure of the differences.

Winona Kirk wished she had done some things differently, well a lot of things actually. I can think of three things off the top of my head that I wish I had done or at least not done.

The first would be letting that man Frank in my house and near my sons. I don't know what I was thinking I really don't. That year after I lost my dear George in the attack on the Kelvin I was lost I just didn't know what to do. I couldn't even look at James without thinking of George.

Once I got back to Earth with James I collected my other son Sammy and took them to our house. Standing in it looking around at all our things I couldn't help but feel numb. Very very numb.

A year after I arrived back on Earth I meet Frank, he was a nice guy who adored me. He would never be my George but he loved me. Or so I had thought for a long time.

It wasn't till years later after Jimmy drove that car off the cliff that I really understood what had been going on all those years. In the 7 years we had been married Frank abused my poor babies. In the back of my mind I knew, after all Sam wouldn't have run away for no reason. He wouldn't leave Jim like that.

I guess I just didn't want to see it to actually look at my life and see the wrongs and mistakes I was making. I went off world as often as I could; to the extent that I was never home to see the damage he was doing to my boys.

Maybe if I was home more often than I would have seen what was happening and kicked that man out of my house. Then things would have been different, I could have kept what little of my family I had left together. But I didn't and I regret it, by the time I divorced Frank it was too late.

The second would be Sam my oldest son the one who remembered George and what it was like to have two loving parents. Who could remember what it was like to know you were loved to never doubt anything.

Sam ran away when he was 15 while I was off world on a mission. I didn't even find out till a month later when we landed back on the planet.

Around then was also when they told me that Jimmy almost killed himself by driving George's old car off the side of a cliff. Frank said he didn't want to worry me, but I can see the truth now as clear as day. He just didn't care anymore.

Not about me or my sons lives just that car. Which was not his anyway, I looked everywhere for Sam and couldn't find him nowhere. Years later after many more mistakes I got a message from him that he was alive and well. That he was in school and living on the east coast.

If felt odd to hear from my son after all this time, I asked him to keep in touch he was very hesitant at first but he finally he agreed. It was one of the best moments in my life. To have my son back in my life, when he ran away I didn't know what to do.

And then the third thing my Jimmy, I know he has had it ruff all these years. He looks exactly like George did back when he was young. I could not look at him when he was born or a while after that. I would see him take care of his needs. But I never really looked, it hurt too much.

I know George would be disappointed but I couldn't stop myself from doing it.

My son needed me and I wasn't there for him, not once was I there to protect him from the abuse he suffered. I'm his mother and I couldn't do it.

I ran away from the ghost of my husband to the stars. By the time I came to my sense and save him, he was gone. Far away to Starfleet the one place I thought he wouldn't go anywhere near. Shows me how well I knew my son, didn't it.

I was glued to the news when word broke out that Vulcan had been attacked and the Romulan ship was heading to Earth I was calm. I watched as the ship started drilling a hole into the water, but when the Enterprise came out of nowhere and saved the day a felt relief.

Until I heard that James T. Kirk acting Captain of the USS Enterprise was the one who saved the entire planet. Then I started to panic at all the things that could have happened to him. My baby saved the planet, he could have died, how did he become Captain?

Once I started to think about that I then started to think about every mistake I every made concerning my boys. Which to be honest was a lot over the last twenty five years. Oh George would be so disappointed in me.

Over the next couple weeks I kept an eye on the news to check on Jimmy. He was promoted to Captain and given command of the Enterprise. I was so proud of him and everything he accomplished; he is his father's son.

I want to contact him so bad, to tell him I am sorry and that I love him. That I wish I could take back the last twenty five years and do them better. So he was never scared or helpless, so that he always felt loved and knew it. But I don't because I know he doesn't want to hear from me, not now maybe not ever.

The End.


End file.
